vaginapowersactivate:

prestonhymas:

Why do we not discuss clouds more?

image

I mean look at that. That’s water.

image

Flying water.

image

FLYING

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FUCKING

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WATER

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DO WE EVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS

WHAT IS THIS

HOW IS THIS EVEN

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AND NOW THE FLYING WATER IS EATING A MOUNTAIN

GOD DAMN, WHAT

This is my favorite post on Tumblr.

(via cyanidesapphire)


ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

xcuse yew

ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.

THIS IS FUCKING IT.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials
xcuse yew

(via mahrandomfandoms)


Reblog this if…

artistimistic:

You think bisexuality and pansexuality is real and that people with this sexuality aren’t indecisive “sluts” who want to sleep with everyone. My mom told me to my face that bisexuals just wanted to have a bunch of sex with everyone.

(via mahrandomfandoms)


(via eatingisfab)


fukyouniall:

edgebug:

tricksterer:

my ex is still logged into twitter on my phone
i could be cliche and tweet ‘I’m a DOUCHEEE lol’

no


instead

every few days i will tweet something he would totally say

but he will never remember tweeting it

slowly the slightly out of place tweets will drive him insane


victory

you are satan

you are god

(via pizzawillyoubemybf)


Reblog If You Haver Ever Used One of These Or Just Know What It Is

carry-on-wayward-fallen-angel:

ashashi-corner:

ginathethundergoddess:

yugichrist:

xeppeli:

leader-of-standing-purgatorians:

reblogthings:

image

It’s scares me that only 16,000 people know what this is

wtf is this some kind of choclat bar

This object has killed over 400,000 people

oh my god. 

Guys.

We’re old.

WE’RE THE OLD ONES NOW

*PANICS*

image

(via mahrandomfandoms)


mrtwentington:

skepticalavenger:

whats-an-algebra:

do atheists say oh my god

yep.  we say it any time we hear something that’s unbelievable.

image

(via cyanidesapphire)



antisociallysplendid:

someone-not-me:

dent-arthur-dent:

drarna:

i love how the two most cited love stories of all time are romeo & juliet and titanic and they both involve teenagers who knew each other for less than a week

and Leonardo DiCaprio played the male lead in both them.

Without winning an oscar for either

somehow we always end up here

(via frecklesocks)